


Daylight

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: M/M, save in the flesh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 18:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2517572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And when the daylight comes I'll have to go,<br/>But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick, very rushed something for the #SaveInTheFlesh SMS.
> 
> Title and lyrics from the song by Maroon 5.
> 
> Unbeta'd. All mistakes (there are probably several) are my own.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

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Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

 _Here I am waiting. I'll have to leave soon; why am I holding on?_  
_We knew this day would come, we knew it all along._  
_How did it come so fast?_

There are so many things Rick wants to talk about, to say to Kieren. He can’t though. He doesn’t want to ruin this, so he doesn’t speak. He uses his lips for something other than words. Kieren has always had all of him – they’ve both always known that – so, for one last time, Rick reminds him of that with every kiss, every touch, and every movement of his body.

_This is our last night but it's late, and I'm trying not to sleep  
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away_

Kieren curls around him so easily, and fits in Rick’s arms as if he’s always belonged there. It’s a nice fantasy, one Rick allows himself to believe, however briefly. He knows he has never been good enough for Kieren, though. Someone like Kieren should never be confined by someone like him. He could never follow where Kieren was going, and to want him to stay was selfish and cruel, because Kieren would say he wanted that too. Rick would never be able to live with himself for holding Kieren back. Unlike Rick, he had never belonged in Roarton. No matter how many years Rick spent in the army, this place would always be his home, while it had never truly been Kieren’s. Rick was just another thing tying him to this place, to somewhere he needed to leave. He would be happier at college. In time Kieren would see that, and perhaps he would understand what Rick was about to do, even if he never forgave him for it. Rick could live with that, just as long as Ren was happy.

It always amazed him what he realise he’d endure for Kieren’s happiness. Every time he left his home to meet Kieren, Rick was risking far more than just being grounded, but he’d take anything his father could do to him, because being there for Kieren was more important than anything else. It also gave Rick a resounding sense of peace and comfort when he was with Kieren, and especially like this, sitting wrapped in each other’s arms, both tired and uncaring about anything else in the world. Spending the night with Kieren was probably the biggest risk Rick had ever taken, but what more could anyone do to him? After this, he was going to be gone. This one last chance was worth everything.

 _And when the daylight comes I'll have to go,_  
_But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close_  
_Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own_  
_But tonight I need to hold you so close_

Kieren coughed, shifting away from Rick’s arms to take a drink. Dragged back from the edge of sleep, Rick waited for him to return to his arms, welcoming him with kisses. Their movements were slowed with tiredness, but they both needed the comfort and the release they could find in each other. Rick didn’t think about how this would be the last time, how soon Kieren would find someone else, some who could walk with him and share his new life in the way Rick never could. He just held Kieren close as they moved against each other, taking in every detail of skin on skin, hands and lips touching and tasting, warm breath ghosting over each other’s skin. Both were too tired for any sense of urgency, but the need to be close, to become a part of each other, was inescapably clear. Rick gave himself to Kieren completely, one last time.

Sleep came easily, and with no room for any unwanted thoughts. Rick had barely managed to pull the blanket they’d brought with them over their exhausted bodies before he was unconscious.

 _Here I am staring at your perfection in my arms, so beautiful_  
_The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out_  
_Somebody slow it down_

Rick didn’t sleep for long. He was grateful that what little he got was deep and undisturbed, but when his eyes flickered open and he realised the night was fading, he didn’t want to close his eyes again. Kieren slept soundly beside him, lips gently parted, his breath tickling Rick’s exposed collarbone. There was nothing in the world that brought Rick as much comfort as knowing Ren was at peace, safe. It was just an illusion, though. Rick had been able to keep Ren safe at school, and had given him somewhere to feel loved and accepted, no matter what, but in truth Rick couldn’t protect him from the world, as much as he wanted to. He couldn’t even protect his own mother.

He watched Kieren sleeping, arm wrapped firmly around him, matching his breathing to Kieren’s. The slow, even rhythm helped calm the panic that lingered on the edge of his mind, threatening to overtake him as he realised the sky was steadily growing brighter. His eyes closed tight, tears threatening. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to leave.

But he had to.

_This is way too hard, cause I know when the sun comes up, I will leave.  
This is my last glance that will soon be memory_

His heart was breaking. He loved Kieren. He bit his lip, wanting to say the words out loud, even just once, but he couldn’t. It would make it so much worse. What did it matter, though? Kieren already knew how Rick felt. Rick had given everything of himself that there was to give to Kieren. Perhaps Rick would one day meet someone new, someone he liked enough to be with, but he knew his heart would always belong to Kieren.

So he said it. He whispered the words softly against Kieren’s temple as he pressed a kiss to his skin, hoping that the pain of the words would be less than the pain he might one day feel if he had never said them. He ached to follow those words with actions, to show Kieren in every possible way how much he was loved. Instead, he woke Kieren with light kisses, holding him close as he gently brought him back to consciousness. He had to go. Rick wanted so desperately to ignore time, to stay with Kieren just a little longer. But he couldn’t.

His parting words, in truth, were not a lie.

Every minute of every day, Rick knew his thoughts would with Kieren.

 _And when the daylight comes I’ll have to go_  
_But tonight I’m gonna hold you so close_  
_Cause in the daylight we’ll be on our own_  
_But tonight I need to hold you so close._


End file.
